the future is exciting.

I'm headed home after Christmas. Being home close with family makes it so hard to leave. I love the mountains and the independence of my first "big girl" job. I miss the sunshine, albeit cold landscapes and snow. Even though its rainy, dreary, and gray outside, St. Louis is home. Living so far away is hard! So much harder than I have ever imagined.

Moving to Montana was a huge leap but an absolute dream.  Moving to a gorgeous town far away has been an exciting and terrifying journey. For the first time, I really feel like I'm growing up and leaving things behind.

I understand why many choose to stay close to home -- especially people who are horrible on the phone like me, a phone call is never enough. This was my last trip home for a while-- walking away from the enormous amount of love and support is not something I'm looking forward to.

Right now, the impending stretch of going home is looming. Not seeing family for a while (plus living through a Montana Winter) isn't all that appealing.

I'm not sure what I want out of life. I want to have adventures. I am lucky to have this chance to live freely.

I want to live where I can fall asleep on my sister's couch, but also where I can climb mountains. Those things don't currently co-exist.

The ennui is from a lot of things: being out of college, living in a small town, missing my family, never seeing the sun. But moving away means you don't have the friends you used to have-- and never can again. I can't go back to college and time will move no matter what.

In college, there is only opportunity, there is only the future. Post college there are actual choices: and every choice means something lost. Moving away from home means... being away from home. Taking one job means not having another. In college, even after you choose a major, you can continue course work in a field. Post-college, I can't choose both city life and rural, choose family and distance.

Right now I'm far away and living in a small town. I have adventure and sunshine and independence. And right now, that's enough.

photo found on pinterest forever ago, from aaimadewithlove.com

Turkey Prints

It's been above freezing all week! This is incredibly welcome after my visit to balmy St. Louis for Thanksgiving. It's been nice to get out every day at lunch and walk in the sunlight, as the sun is rising as I drive to work and setting as I leave.

That's one of the best and one of the worst parts of a Montana winter-- the best part is that there's a magnificent sunrise every morning, where the snowcapped mountains reflect the fading pink and gold sky.

I climb the "mountain" across from my office every lunch break. Typing it makes it sound way cooler than it actually is. I mean, the view is gorgeous and the sunlight incredibly refreshing after sitting in dark office all day, but its not like I'm climbing Everest, its just a steep walk.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, turkey prints! Turkeys like to climb mountains too. Which is strange.

This was prethanksgiving -10 degree weather. This is the sort of weather that freezes your eyes.

huff puff

Huff-puff is a small mountain across from my office. The last time I hiked this was in September--it's too dark after work to hike now. The mountain is named Huff-puff due to the steepness of the beginning and and end of the trail.  The hike is a winding trail that takes about 45 minutes and is absolutely beautiful. The trail winds through the forest and ends on top of Huff Puff, which over looks [I think] the Anaconda range of the Rockies.

One thing I didn't get used to in the summer was temperature changes. Frosty mornings, warm afternoons, cold nights. Wearing pants and a sweater, only to change into shirt sleeves by afternoon.

Days are endless; I became spoiled by the hours of sunlight after work and feeling like I had forever to explore. Which is a false sense: now that I'm in the beginning of winter, and sunlight is fierce, cold and short.

mount rushmore

Stop two on my roadtrip to Montana was Mount Rushmore. I have been wanting to see Mount Rushmore for a few years now, and this was the perfect chance. It felt especially fitting to stop at the monument two weeks after receiving my political science degree.

Mount Rushmore doesn't open until 8 in the morning, but I pulled in around 7, so I took the left fork away from the monument and wound up a mountain and hiked around in the forest. 

This view of the mountains all around me was truly stunning. Even though I've been living in mountains for almost six months, I still absolutely love the view.

The monument opened and I walked in, toting the camera and tripod. There was no one there by themselves, and only a handful of people close to my age. While driving to my new home felt completely normal, it is apparently rare to see.

The entrance is long and paved and has a bunch of signs and flags.

This guy's name caught my eye. Who?

I learned new tidbits about American history, including that Thomas Jefferson is equal to ice cream. Duh.

Mount Rushmore is not only way cooler than imagined, but it also is smaller than expected... and also bigger. I was a little surprised how far away the viewing station is-- the cliff face is not exactly something that would be damaged by close human interaction.

It is sad to see the 'trash', or left over rocks, just sitting underneath the sculpture.

I stood in line for 15 minutes because everyone had lined up in this little cave and was spending forever in it taking pictures. I was thinking it would be a really magnificent view. Looks like I was disappointed.

This is the original plaster mold that they planned. Inside Lincoln's head was supposed to be a whole museum and archive. Weirdly enough, carving into the side of a mountain is exceptionally difficult and they called it quits after the faces were complete.

Carhenge

I drove to Montana by myself, which isn't really that far. It takes two, three days of 8 hours of driving. Driving by yourself is the best: you stop where-ever, eat whatever, sing Taylor Swift and call your sister for hours until your service drops out.

I tried to take pictures of every hundred miles, but Red is an engaging album and the highway in Nebraska is [surprisingly] beautiful.

My original itinerary was driving to South Dakota, but I loved the Nebraskan Sandhills so much that I wanted to drive through the whole state.

The deal was sealed when I realized the National Monument Carhenge is on the east side of the state.

Carhenge is an ancient American formation that created around 4,000 years ago. Its speculated to be a copy of the less famous Stonehenge, and visitors come from across the globe to witness the incredible architecture.

Interestingly enough, Carhenge is surrounded by even older fossilized animals. This longneckasaurous has been reconstructed for the public's education. No one is quite sure where the rocks and bones originated from, as the historic site outdates the original Native peoples.

This is the only known Autopieses skeleton.

My intent of purchasing souvenirs from the on-site museum was spoiled when I realized I left my wallet about 80 miles behind at a lovely drive in restaurant, liquor store, movie rental place and ice cream store called Drive In.